15> "Pretty Woman" - "I Will Marry a Prostitute to Save Money"

14> "Face/Off" - "Who Is Face Belonging To?  I Kill You Again,
     Harder!"

13> "Leaving Las Vegas" - "I'm Drunk And You're a Prostitute"

12> "Interview With The Vampire" - "So, You Are a Lawyer?"

11> "The Piano" - "Ungrateful Adulteress! I Chop Off Your Finger!"

10> "My Best Friend's Wedding" - "Help! My Pretend Boyfriend
     Is Gay!"

 9> "George of the Jungle" - "Big Dumb Monkey-Man Keeps Whacking
     Tree With Genitals"

 8> "Scent of a Woman" - "Great Buddha!  I Can Smell You From Afar!
    Take a Bath, Will You?!"

 7> "Love, Valour, Compassion!" - "I Am That Guy From Seinfeld So
     It's Acceptable for Straight People to Enjoy This Gay Movie"

 6> "Babe" - "The Happy Dumpling-to-be Who Talks And Solves
     Agricultural Problems"

 5> "Twister" - "Run! Ruuunnnn! Cloudzillaaaaa!"

 4> "Field of Dreams" - "Imaginary Dead Baseball Players Live in
     My Cornfield"

 3> "Barb Wire" - "Delicate Orbs of Womanhood Bigger Than Your
     Head Can Hurt You"

 2> "Batman & Robin" - "Come to My Cave and Wear This Rubber
     Codpiece, Cute Boy"


and the Number 1 Chinese Translation of an English Movie Title...


 1> "The Crying Game" - "Oh No!  My Girlfriend Has a Penis!"




[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
[ The Top Five List   top5@walrus.com   http://www.topfive.com ]
[      To forward or repost, please include this section.      ]


Selected from 96 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors are:
----------------------------------------------------------------
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA        --  1, 11, 15 (13th #1/Hat trick!)
Sam Evans, Charleston, SC             --  2, 7   (Hall of Famer)
Gene Markins-Dieden, New Haven, CT    --  3
Kevin Hawley, Fairless Hills, PA      --  4
Caroline Gennity, VA     --  5, 8, 12 (Hall of Famer/Hat trick!)
Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY            --  6, 10, Topic (Rookie!)
Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA         --  9, 14
Fred Hesby, Portland, OR              -- 13
Nathan Hansar, Australia              -- Banner tag
David Bowie, Mustique                 -- Ambience
Chris White, New York, NY             -- List owner/editor
----------------------------------------------------------------
           Today's Runners Up list, "Kung-Fu Movies",
      can be found at our website: http://www.topfive.com
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                   Ruminations & Ponderances

          Piano students who have trouble playing the
            black keys should just paint them white,
             because white keys are easier to play.

                  (Thanks to Paul Paternoster)

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